Healing your marriage…by choice

Christa’s note: Every chapter in the book ends with a prayer. I’m impressed by the searing honesty of these two women in using their pain to heal others. It’s an amazing witness to being servants of God and believing in power of forgiveness.

THE HEALING CHOICE: When you experience a betrayal of intimacy in your marriage–whether through a husband’s struggle with pornography or through outright infidelity–you need a wise and understanding counselor to guide you through raging storms of guilt, angerness, bitterness, and resentment.

THE HEALING CHOICE GUIDEBOOK, a companion to The Healing Choice, walks you step by step through the process of personal healing, leading you to grow deeper in your relationship with God and equipping you to find healthy support in the company of other women who understand your pain.

Among other things, you’ll discover how to…

  • recognize your spouse’s emotional cycles and patterns of behavior—and your own
  • sort through your emotions in healthy and effective ways
  • gain deeper personal insights through the Bible and prayer
  • engage in a support group in ways that encourage healing
  • establish boundaries and ascertain whether it is safe to trust again

Created by women who understand firsthand the devastation caused by sexual betrayal, this guidebook offers the practical help you need to move beyond your pain and find hope for genuine healing.


“Brenda Stoeker and Susan Allen have lived with anguish from the tidal wave of grief and loss. Through paralleling Brenda’s painfully difficult journey of releasing her beloved mother to death and comparing it with the shock of a world falling apart having encountered the devastating blow from the revelation of pornography in their marriages, you’ll understand how terribly shattering this is for every woman whose husband’s secret life has been exposed.

Fred Stoeker powerfully unpacks the pain his wife was living through from a spouses perspective, and we view closeup a couple walking through the stuff of life–together. But both Brenda and Susan write of HOPE in the midst of brokenness. Instead of allowing the pain and heartache to further injure, crush, and steal from their lives, these bold warriors chose to take their broken hearts and the raw reality of their broken dreams and place the trauma of their lives in God’s Holy Hands.

These brave women write vulnerably of their road to recovering stronger, healthier, restored hearts on their journeys, in order to help others realize that a wife can get help even before her husband chooses to get his. They focus on what God taught them, and share His dream of what all women will look like on the other side of these grieving journeys. They write, ‘God’s Word is like a mooring that holds you in place when the tidal grief wants to sweep you away.” A restored heart is just over the hill if you stay on the path and read The Healing Choice. Powerful!

— Barbara Rosberg, of America’s Family Coaches. Dr. Gary and Barb are authors of 6 Secrets to a Lasting Love, co-hosts of the nationally syndicated talk show “Dr.Gary and Barb, Your Marriage Coaches” and nationally known public speakers.

Brenda Stoeker

A seasoned marriage teacher and a best-selling author, Brenda Stoeker is bent on challenging women to connect in true intimate relationship with their Heavenly Father and to connect deeply with their husbands in sexually pure marriages. A fourth-generation Christian, she is also co-founder of Living True Ministries, whose mission is to practically elucidate God’s truth while encouraging and equipping men and women to rise up to be Christian, rather than to merely seem Christian.

Towards that end, Brenda recently co-authored the book Every Heart Restored , which won the ECPA’s Silver Medallion in the Marriage Category in 2006. To extend the impact of that first book, she’s co-authored The Healing Choice with Susan Allen in order to promote effective, small-group ministry curricula for hurting women in the local church.

A proud graduate of the Lutheran Hospital School of Nursing in Moline, IL, Brenda now lives in the Des Moines, Iowa, with Fred, her husband of twenty-six fun-filled years, and with Michael, the youngest (and tallest!) of their four Christian children.

Susan Allen directs the AVENUE – For Women program headquartered in Danville, California. She has walked in the shoes of the women she counsels. This group was established to offer hope and healing to those women whose dreams and marriages have been devastated by their husband’s inappropriate sexual behavior.

Susan has been married since 1982 to her husband, Clay Allen, president of AVENUE. Together they have one daughter. Their marriage and ministry is a testimony of the healing hand of God’s touch.

Susan has the experience of counseling and praying for hundreds of women through this program. She has studied extensively about the issues behind sexual addiction and the ramifications affecting the wife and family. She has offered hope, healing and guidance at speaking events at churches and other organizations.


2 thoughts on “Healing your marriage…by choice

  1. Christa, it’s great to find a blog of Christian books and reviews! Thanks for keeping up a great blog! Blessings!
    Abigail @ Pearls and Diamonds

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