Money can’t buy you love, but it can buy you a reduction in your jail sentence if your last name is spelled H-I-L-T-O-N

  AP Photo

Am I upset? No.

Am I angry? No.

Am I so enraged that I could spew rocks the size of Paris’ engagement rings? You’re getting closer.

Let’s stop pretending we have a justice system. It’s now a just-is system; just is whatever someone needs it to be.

An “undisclosed medical condition” required her release at two o’clock in the morning? Oh, wait, I forgot. She’s usually in the throes of partying at that hour. Silly me.

Wait. Don’t stop laughing now. HOUSE ARREST???

Will someone please arrest me and confine me to a mansion in Hollywood where I’m waited on as if I have a brain the size of a green pea.  Word on the street is Tiffany’s is on emergency call for a diamond-encrusted, monogrammed, and specially sized ankle bracelet. They couldn’t make a crown for her because  there’s not a measuring tape long enough to fit around her head. 

Hmm. Let’s see. Which of the following, if you’re P.H., might qualify as a “medical condition”?

1. Your hair extensions are wiggling slightly when you have to make your own bed.

2. Excessive pouting.

3. Having your food served on a divided tray, and the only “presentation” is the hot dog is already in the bun.

4. Posing for hours on end and not being photographed.

5. Paparatzzi withdrawal.

6. Wardrobe malfunctions from having to dress yourself.

7. Designer shoe obsessive disorder aggravated by shoe monotony.

8. Having “lights out” by natural means.

9. Persistent whining.

10. Being alone with yourself and finding out you’re terrible company.

Shame, shame, shame on the person(s) responsible for this travesty.

 America.

 Land of the free. Home of the lame.

For the record and to address the comment posted:

Hilton’s path to jail began Sept. 7, when she failed a sobriety test after police saw her weaving down a street in her Mercedes-Benz on what she said was a late-night run to a hamburger stand.

She pleaded no contest to reckless driving and was sentenced to 36 months’ probation, alcohol education and $1,500 in fines.

In the months that followed she was stopped twice by officers who discovered her driving on a suspended license. The second stop landed her in Sauer’s courtroom, where he sentenced her to jail. (from MSN News)

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5 thoughts on “Money can’t buy you love, but it can buy you a reduction in your jail sentence if your last name is spelled H-I-L-T-O-N

  1. Oh come on Christa, poor Paris was probably scared to death or maybe she was making herself puke! This has to be the worst case of pampering a celebrity I have ever heard of in my lifetime (and that is a long one lol)
    I am so glad the judge is making her report back to court . He is outraged at the sheriff letting her go as well he should be. By the way, since when do the sheriffs make that decision???

  2. First of all the only reason she got a jail sentance was because of being a celebrity. The judge was just trying to get his name in the paper. For a first offense you do not get jail time. Do you really think if was Sha-Na-Na at Orleans Parish Court she would get sent to jail? I don’t think so! She would get a slap on the wrist and her food stamps and welfare would be increased. Plus cab fare to get home from court.

  3. very nice.

    My mom was wondering, if she’s so rich and so high up there, why is she even driving herself in the first place? Don’t they have chauffeurs for that, hm? That’s how I get to school. (haha, my mom.)

    But I’m glad she’s being told to go back to court, I wonder if he’ll hike it back up to 40 days in jail, or 22, or what.

  4. Am I a huge fan of Paris Hilton? No. But, I do think she was treated unfairly in regards to they way any other person would be treated. 45 days for driving with a suspended license, come on. I have seen girls in my sorority get off for that…..I think this judge was feeding the media and his own ego, he thinks he is great because he put Paris Hilton in line. Lets focus on getting minors out of the 21 & up clubs, pratically throwing booze and drugs in their face. Why not put Paris Hilton to work, community service can teach a pretty good lesson. At least she is doing something instead of waisting tax payers money by sitting in jail! Plus, look at the frenzy this whole thing caused today – over a traffic violation. It was stupid on her part, but people are doing it daily.

  5. Paris Hilton is being treated as any other offender would given the circumstances. Paris was not a first time offender. As mentioned in the blog above, she was on probation when she was pulled over, not once, but twice.

    I find it quite humorous that she claims she simply did not know her license was still suspended, other than for driving to and from work. When she was pulled over the second time, which ultimately landed her in court, she was speeding with her headlights turned off at 11:00 at night. What work might have been conducted at 11:00???

    She had no clue she was not allowed to drive yet in her glove compartment was a signed acknowledgement from her prior encounter with the police that she was not to drive on a suspended license.

    And to prove what little respect she has for the justice system, she did not even bother to enroll in the court mandated alcohol education program from her initial courtroom visit.

    It was the Sheriff who was responsible for attempting to override a judge. And beyond all of that – the judge does not just make the law as he sits on the bench. He has to follow written statutes and codes. He commuted Paris’ sentence to 23 days — she obviously thought she could get out of it and when she did not — all of a sudden the judge is responsible for playing the media. I think not.

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