I’ve finally decided what I want to be on my way to growing up.
At some point, God willing and the levees don’t break, I’ll be a multi-published writer who is entertaining the grandchildren on the lanai of my Kauai summer home while I’m chatting with my agent who’s about to break the news that Julia Roberts agreed to walk on her knees so that she can play me in the film version of my life.
In the meantime, I want to be one of those people who gets to name paint colors. My father owned a hardware store, and I spent too much time there browsing through the paint chip files. It’s just so intriguing that grown people are paid to ponder preposterous paint names. Do they do this before or after lunch, I wonder, contemplating if lunch consists mostly of solid or liquid food substances.
I probably should be a bit ashamed to admit that I cruised through the Benjamin Moore site before composing the blog, but it was all in the name of research. Truth is, there are at least a bazillion paint color names–far too many for me to wax poetic about here.
I found that pink can be charming, passion, lilac, bunny nose, newborn, wild, posy, lace, blush, blossom, pansy, innocence, and ballerina, wild, paradise, gypsy, princess, and I Love You (to name a few).
If you don’t get to travel much, you may, instead, vacation vicariously through the following: Tulsa Twilight, Rocky Mountain Sky, Honolulu Blue, Gobi Desert, Yosemite Blue, Caribbean Azure, Galapagos Turquoise, Naples Blue,Tuscon Teal, Venezuelan Sky, Grand Canyon Red, Douglas Fir, Toronto Blue.
Hungry? American Cheese, Sharp Cheddar, Carrot Stick, Eggshell, Neon Celery, Peach Parfait, Lemonade, and an assortment of mousses and sorbets of varying shades.
But let’s get real. What color is Dog’s Ear? Funky Fruit?
Let’s petition for names we can honestly and immediately visualize–like Baby Urp Yellow, Roast Beef Gravy Brown, Pawprints on the Carpet Deep Black, Raw Oyster Gray, Clean Diaper White, Similac with Iron Ecru, Runny Nose Green, Fish Stick Taupe.