It’s exam week. I’m going away for a few minutes to scream.

Okay, I’m back now

Why is it always the kids who couldn’t remember due dates if they were tattooed on their boy/girlfriends’ foreheads who are the first to ask, twenty-two seconds after handing in their tests, if I have their averages?

My next fav is the kid who stalks me the day before the exams wanting to know the work s/he is missing. She’s had eighteen weeks, mind you, to think about this. “Think about” being the operative words. This kid’s cousin is Did You Do Anything While I Was Gone? No, honey, we were emotionally paralyzed by the void in the room. We dimmed the lights, held hands, sang Kumbaya, and mourned your absence.

Then there’s: “My mother/father/uncle/grandmother/parole officer/girlfriend’s stepdad wants you to grade my test today and write down my average before I leave.” In most cases, no one’s actually requested this information. The kid’s just hoping a passable average will be the leverage s/he can use to release him from some grade bondage involving computers, cars, or weekend entertainment.

Another delusional question I’m asked about five minutes before the exam is handed out is if they can do extra credit. Again, this usually from a kid who hasn’t yet figured out that if you do the regular credit stuff, you don’t have time to or need to do extra credit.

One grading period, I copied a comic strip onto the test, figuring a little levity might help ease the tension.

“Mrs. Allan, um, this wasn’t on our study guide, and we didn’t go over this in class.”

“I know. It’s a cartoon.”

“Well, we are we supposed to do with it?”

“Read it.

“And then what?”


Sigh. Is it June yet?


Word game for today:

A word I know, six letters it contains;
subtract just one,
and twelve is what remains.


4 thoughts on “Examania

  1. Christa, I can relate to everything you just said. My kids are the same way. As for the cartoon, I once added a one picture cartoon and my kids went ballistic wondering what to do! Sometimes, you wonder what the actual time is for their brains to turn to mush. I am guessing it is ten seconds before the exam starts.
    Have fun

  2. And I don’t ever remember having a comic strip on any of your tests. Then again I was never there, so maybe you edited it out of my makeup test. šŸ™‚

  3. Mrs. Allan I’m very glad you didn’t put a comic strip on our test or I would have been forced to report you to Mr. Adkins for not putting that on your study guide. Then I would ask for extra credit. Oh, and my midterm graded immediately.

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