PARTING THE WATERS: Don’t miss this book

NOTE FROM CHRISTA: As the mother of a daughter with Down’s Syndrome, I cautiously approached Jeanne’s book.  Too often, memoirs or true-to-life tragedy books are stuffed with cloying sanctimony.  Others border on frightening in their fist-shaking at God.

But, as I posted on Facebook, this is one book I didn’t finish. it finished me. In fact, so much so that after reading it, I actually felt joyfully exhausted.  Jeanne’s blistering honesty and spiritual transparency gripped me from the beginning. This woman was real. Really real [I know it's a redundancy; sometimes it's just really, really necessary]. Jeanne opens the door to her heart and soul and invites you to bear the burdens and the blessings with her. Reading her story, their story, was a privilege.  If  tragedy has ever wrapped itself around you, read this book. If you’ve been blessed by a life untouched by the cloak of tragedy, read this book.

When a tragic drowning accident leaves fifteen-year-old Jacob in a coma, the faith of his family and community is shaken to its foundation. Medical experts used phrases such as “persistent vegetative state” and said, “Jacob will never wake up,” but Jacob’s parents knew God would have the final say.

Without sugar-coating the realities of pain and suffering, Parting the Waters presents the heart-warming, true story of what can happen when a community rallies around one wounded family. While Jacob’s parents struggle to preserve their faith and family, the prayers and innovative efforts of community members result in Jacob’s gradual awakening. Each dramatic milestone in Jacob’s recovery creates a new ripple, touching and changing many lives forever.

Told from a mother’s perspective, Parting the Waters is a poignant tale of unexpected beauty found in brokenness.

Bonus feature: a “Q & A” section that fearlessly tackles issues regarding God, His love and mercy, and His divine purposes related to suffering.

Jeanne Damoff

Jeanne Damoff has been married for 29 years to George, a biologist, poet, and musician. Their three grown children, Jacob, Grace, and Luke, are her favorite people in the world. She has degrees in social work, sociology, English, and secondary education, and has taught such varied subjects as English, Latin, art, music, and cheerleading. For eight years she taught pre-school through junior high Bible, using a curriculum she designed and wrote. Jeanne is a published writer, a professional choreographer, a musician, and a speaker. She loves to laugh and gives points to anyone who makes her laugh out loud. These points are very valuable. Everyone should strive to earn them, starting now.

Tell me a little bit about your background and your family.
I was born and raised in Dallas, TX. Graduated from Stephen F. Austin State University in Dec., 1981. Double majored in social work and sociology, minored in English, and took secondary teacher’s certification in sociology and English. Married George Damoff May 5, 1979. Jacob was born May 10, 1981; Grace followed June 30, 1983; and Luke completed our family on April 18, 1985.

What do you like to do in your spare time? Hobbies?
My hobbies and work overlap. I’m a writer, speaker, choreographer, musician, and photographer, and I love all of it!

What has God been teaching you lately?
God is teaching me to rest in His sovereignty and plan. Mine is to daily present my body as a living sacrifice and obey Him in the moment. His is to do everything else.

When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
A mom.

Where are you headed next?
The grocery store. Oh, did you mean in my “career”? (Pardon me while I laugh over that concept.) Let’s see. I’m 51, and so far life has mostly been a series of surprises. God opens doors I never expect, so I just try to keep hold of His hand and let Him lead. As for what’s on my immediate horizon, in the coming months I have some interviews and speaking engagements connected to Parting the Waters. In February I’ll be traveling to Thailand for three weeks to serve as official photographer for several Women of Compassion retreats. I’m so thankful for and honored by these opportunities.

How did you get involved in writing?
I’ve been writing since childhood and always felt like I was breathing my native air in English classes. I also loved teaching creative writing as an English teacher. Though I didn’t seriously pursue widespread publication before 2003, for most of my adult life I’ve been stocking a mental character file. Whenever I’d meet a quirky, obnoxious, funny, or bizarre person, I’d take mental notes. Three of those people inspired minor characters in my first (as-yet-unpublished) novel. I highly recommend the practice to everyone, even if you don’t write. It transforms otherwise unpleasant situations into fascinating encounters.

How do you find time to write?
I really admire people who work full-time day jobs and still manage to crank out books. At this point, everything I do is freelance, so I set my own schedule. If I’m in the middle of a writing project, I can devote as much time to it as necessary.

What did you enjoy most about the writing process?
Hard to say, but I do love the dance with words-knowing what I want to say and finding the perfect way to say it. The right metaphor, a certain cadence to the language, wrapping words around the ache the beauty stirs inside me. For me, language matters as much as story.

What was the most difficult aspect of the writing process?
I actually enjoy all the parts-plotting, writing the initial draft, editing. Probably the hardest thing is getting focused to plunge in, no matter where I am in the process. I’m far-too easily distracted.

Talk to me about your decision to self-publish – what drove that decision and what has the process been like?
I started writing Parting the Waters in 2003, and even then I knew that self-publication might be the best avenue for this book. But I wanted to put it through the paces-to submit to agents and editors and get professional feedback. I’m so glad I did that! I know it’s a much better book than it would have been otherwise, and in the process I met my agent and lots of writers and editors who’ve become dear friends. We did receive serious interest from publishers, but ultimately believed God was leading us to self-publish-mostly because we expect to use this book in ministry and give away a lot of copies, and we didn’t want a publisher to take it out of print if it wasn’t selling enough.

What would you say to someone who wants to become a published author?

Write as God leads. Tell the story on your heart-not the one you think will sell a million copies. Attend reputable writer’s conferences and listen to feedback from professionals, but understand that there are a lot of opinions out there, and ultimately you get to decide what works for your writing. Keep writing until God leads you to stop. The goal is obedience to Him for His glory-not publication or best-sellers or fame.

Where did you get the idea for the book?
Parting the Waters is a true story. Several years after Jacob’s accident in 1996, I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me to write what I was seeing God do. I didn’t want to, and for the next few years I kept giving God excuses for why I didn’t have time. Without going into detail, let’s just say He essentially removed my excuses, and I went home and wrote the first draft in two weeks.

What are the major themes of the book?
Beauty from brokenness. God’s goodness and sovereign purposes in suffering. The body of Christ. The power of community when it works as it should.

What insight did you gain from the process of writing about such a difficult personal experience?
Reliving our experience on the page was excruciating at times, but also very cathartic. I believe it’s good for all Christians to look back on our most difficult times and see how God carried and led us when we felt like we were wandering over jagged shards in a fog. Probably the biggest insight I gained was a deeper assurance that God is in control and I can trust His loving purposes, even when it hurts to breathe.

How and what is Jacob doing now?
Jacob is a precious, happy 27 year old who lives abundantly in spite of his brain injury. Though he wasn’t expected to ever awaken from coma, he walks, talks, laughs, and loves intensely. He spends his weekdays with his long-time aide, Rusty Mauldin, working with his cattle and in his garden, then comes home on the weekends. Jacob worships the Lord with the passion of a lover who is not hindered by self-consciousness. Watching him is like glimpsing eternity.

What do you hope readers will take away from your book?
I hope they will realize more deeply that God loves them and is working out His plans in their lives with perfect faithfulness. Sure we suffer consequences when we make stupid choices, but many of the trials and sorrows we experience have nothing to do with punishment or a lack of faith. They are part of God’s goodness-conforming us to the image of His Son. I hope readers will meet God on the pages of our story and walk away changed by grace. Thanks for stopping by Jeanne Damoff’s Parting the Waters Blog Tour.

Here are the blogs featuring Parting the Waters during our JAN 26-30 Tour.
5 Minutes for Books
A Little Whine and Cheese
A Peek at My Bookshelf
A Spacious Place
Alien Dream
Arkansas Dreams
Ashley Evans Boone
Aspire2 Blog
Bible Dude
Blame it on the Loud Mouth Gene
Blog Tour Spot
Bluebonnet in the Snow
Book Nook Club
Canadian Prairie Writer
Christy’s Book Blog
Conversations with a Stranger
Davis Family of 6
Fictionary
Five Bazillion and One
Gatorskunz and Mudcats
Getting Down with Jesus
Good Word Editing
i don’t believe in grammar
iamhealed.net
Kells Creative Musings
La Vida Dulce
Life with Missy
Lift My Noise
Lighthouse Academy
Marc Whitman’s Blog
Michelle Pendergrass
Musings from the Windowsill
Mystery, Suspense, and God, Oh My!
Net’s Book Notes
One Voice in a Big World
Portrait of a Writer . . . Interrupted
Relevant Blog
Restore
Sherry Kyle
So You Wanna Be Published
The Friendly Book Nook
the mcgill’s
The Writing Road
They Hang Like Paper Lanterns
This Present Joy
Tooles in Virginia
What I Learned Today
Wide-Eyed Fiction
Word Vessel
Write Brained
Write by Faith

The Resource Guide to Getting Published

For 24 years running, the Christian Writers’ Market Guide has remained the most comprehensive, complete, essential, and highly-recommended resource for beginning and veteran Christian writers, agents, editors, publishers, publicists, and those teaching writing classes.
This year’s Guide is even handier with a CD-Rom included that features the full text of the book for easy searches of topics, publishers, and markets, as well as 100 pages of exclusive content including indexes and writing resource listings.
This is the resource you need to get noticed-and published.

Completely updated and revised to feature the latest on…
more than 1,200 markets for the written word
416 book publishers (32 new)
654 periodicals (52 new)
96 literary agents
100 new listings in Resources for Writers
226 poetry markets
316 photography markets
25 African-American markets
and 166 contests (29 new)

CHRISTIAN WRITERS’ MARKETPLACE is Sally’s informational blog, updated daily, about publishing opportunities, new markets, and other goings on in the world of writing.

INTRODUCING: Jeanne Damoff’s Parting the Waters

more about “INTRODUCING: Parting the Waters “, posted with vodpod

Meet Richard Roach, author of Scattered Leaves

When Ben McCord comes home from a business trip to find his young wife raped and murdered, he starts out on a journey of death and destruction.

Clues lead him to a dark world of drugs and violence in action that spans Texas, Colorado, and the Mexican border. McCord hooks up with a beautiful doctor, who was also victimized by members of the same drug cartel, and together they track down the killers, surviving bloody confrontations, and ending with a suspenseful climax in the Big Thicket of Texas.

If you like twisting plots, action, and surprises, this is the book for you.

See interview with Richard HERE

Richard E. Roach was born in Galveston, Texas in 1931. He attended Trinity University, and the University of Texas. He served in the USAF for four years as a drill sergeant. Richard has invented several electronic instruments used in the detection of oil and gas, formed his company, manufactured them and sold them nationwide as Richard E. Roach, Inc. Before the oil business fell upon hard times, he sold the business for several million dollars and retired to write. Richard is married and Norma has put up with him since 1948. He has three grown children.

Short stories of his have been published in “Man’s Story 2,” “Happy 2007,” “Iconoclast 2006,” and “Bibliophilos 2006.” His first novel, “Scattered Leaves” hit the book stores on September 1, 2008. His second novel in this series, “Scattered Money,” will be published in 2009.

What readers say about “Scattered Leaves”

Scattered Leaves is a wonderful book combining suspense, mystery and romance. From the descriptive writing, I could visualize the characters and surroundings. You could feel the emotions of the main character Ben - from the loss of his love and really the only family he had to finding her murderer and finding love again. I look forward to reading more of this author’s books.
– Trish Tuesburg, RN, First Presbyterian Hospital, Dallas

There is absolutely no doubt that Richard E. Roach can write. His prose hits you right in the stomach, and it hits hard. I felt totally desensitized. The violence never stopped. Undoubtedly well written, “Scattered Leaves” by Richard E. Roach is a book I would recommend to anybody who loves scenes of death, destruction, violation and obliteration.
– Olivera Baumgartner-Jackson, Reader Views

Murder, drugs, oil, and a twist – ingenious.
– Kent McKinney, Sr., Founder and Editor of Truck Market News (retired)

This is an absolutely awesome book by Richard Roach. I could not put it down. I work in this field and it was like a reality book to me filled with spine tingling action that kept me glued to the book, but not to be left out, a little tenderness in the mix. Drugs, murder, and falling in love, I couldn’t ask for more.
– Lynda Posey, Evidence Technician, Texas DPS Crime Lab

A multilayered story filled with intrigue and skullduggery. Mr. Roach is excellent with his descriptive ability both of characters and places. I could feel the cold wind blowing on my face and hear the crunch of snow under my shoes. A fun and entertaining read.
– Dr. Andy Dillard, M.D.

Are you ready for a snow vacation?

Note from Christa: I live close to New Orleans. It snowed several weeks ago, and the entire city nearly shut down. The odds of snow lasting more than a day here are as high as the odds of Angelina and Brad not adopting another child. So to vacation in a place like Park City is truly spectacular. What better way to spend Mardi Gras?

No matter what type of skiers or snowboarders you have in your family, Park City Mountain Res ort has something for all levels. From the tween who wants to spend all day in the terrain park, to the adults who want to ski Jupiter bowl, to the youngest getting on the lift for the very first time, Park City offers family fun and adventure. Prior to taking a trip, families can even print one of the Family Mountain Tours that make it easy for a group with varying ability levels to navigate the mountain together, taking the guess work out of where to go next.

In addition to its industry-leading Kids Signature 5 Program that guarantees no more than five kids in each class, Park City also offers great off-mountain activities. The Alpine coaster, one of only three in the U.S., is a gravity propelled ride, twisting and turning through the mountains on a mile-long track. At Gorgoza Park enjoy lift-served tubing on seven different lanes or mini snowmobile rides around a designated track for kids ages 5 to 12 years old. Best of all, the historic town of Park City has over 100 restaurants and bars located just 35 miles from the Salt Lake City International airport, making getting to Park City easy. The town also once served as the home of the winter Olympics and still has a fantastic bus system to make it easy to get from place to place.

Visit the new “The Adventure” blog where you will find helpful insights from Moms who have visited Park City before on topics from packing, to eating, to planning the perfect family winter vacation. At the blog, readers can enter the drawing for a Family Winter Vacation.

Sign up now and your family could win three nights and four days enjoying the beautiful slopes of Park City Mountain Resort this winter season. All entries are due by January 30, 2009. Here’s what you could win:

• Three nights lodging for four (2 adults and 2 kids (ages 12 and under)
• Lift tickets for four days to Park City Mountain Resort for 2 adults and 2 kids (ages 12 and under)
• Three days of lessons for the kids in our Kids Signature Program
• Transportation to and from the Salt Lake International Airport to Park City, Utah

2008-2009 Improvements:

We’re getting ready for the 2008-2009 winter season by spending $10.5 million in mountain improvements!

Park City Mountain Resort will be busy working on numerous projects in preparation for the 2008-2009 winter season. Projects include:

• A NEW high-speed detachable lift that will greatly improve access out of the Resort’s base area. The new lift, replacing and realigning the current Ski Team lift, will take guests from the Resort’s base area to the top of Crescent Ridge. This will provide high-speed access to the majority of the Resort’s terrain with direct access to the following lifts:
  • Silverlode
  • King Con
  • Bonanza
  • Pioneer
  • McConkey’s
• Terrain enhancements to improve the skiing/riding experience on the mountain, including a new run and expanded snowmaking.
• Renovation of the Mid-Mountain Lodge. Following the retirement of Vince Donile, who has run Mid-Mountain Lodge for the last 20 seasons, Park City Mountain Resort will assume operations in the 2008-09 season.
• Park City Mountain Resort will be purchasing 100% Renewable Energy Credits (RECs) beginning in June of 2008 to offset all of the Resort’s power consumption. The purchase of 13.9 million kWh of RECs will avoid nearly 19 million pounds of CO2 emissions annually, which is equal to removing 1,853 passenger vehicles from the road or powering 1,100 average American homes for a year.

CLICK HERE FOR ANSWERS TO FAQs

If people are still asking your due date, and the baby’s two years old…this book’s for you

The Baby Fat Diet

NOTE FROM CHRISTA: I gained over sixty pounds with my fifth and last child. He was, and still is, a beautiful baby.  But he didn’t weigh fifty-nine pounds. Though this book is about twenty-three years too late for my baby weight, it’s not too late to guide me to healthy decisions.

Motherhood doesn’t have to mean permanent weight gain!

Get rid of those post-pregnancy pounds even if your youngest is already in school.

Losing the baby fat is one of the hardest things for mothers even years after they give birth. Eating for two often results in gaining too much weight, and the more a woman gains, the harder it is to lose. And after having kids, moms are so busy and distracted it?s necessary for them to learn how to eat in a healthy, self-nurturing way again.

In The Baby Fat Diet, moms will be relieved to learn that small changes can make a big difference. Restrictive dieting and cutting out favorite foods to the extreme isn?t necessary. The book offers simple, easy-to-live-by health and nutrition tips that help women change the behaviors that make losing weight so difficult. The 30 timeless tips throughout are eminently practical and the recipes are delicious. Not only will moms lose weight on The Baby Fat Diet, they’ll feel good about themselves, too. Moms will discover:

• Eating for one again
• The importance of portion sizes
• Why breakfast is a weight-loss ally
• The fast-food solution
• Pairing pleasure with healthy foods
• Exercising to the Wiggles(R)

Tell me a little bit about your background and your family.
Monica: I am a dietitian with a unique background – I started at a hospital counseling patients. Soon after, I began working for a major food company as a nutrition research scientist and then went on to work in public relations and lastly, marketing where I helped the company launch their first scientifically-supported heart healthy chocolate product. I also maintained a private counseling practice during this time. As for my family, I am a mother of three and just recently, on Dec. 15th of 2008, had my third child (so, I am in the midst of losing my baby weight).

What do you like to do in your spare time? Hobbies?
Monica: In my spare time, I play with my children; try new recipes, exercise and scrapbook.

If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?
Monica: To slow down time and get more done in a day – there is so much to do every day; I wish I could accomplish more.

When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Monica: I wanted to be one of the first professional women soccer players. I played soccer at the University of Texas at Austin on the very first women’s varsity team.

Where are you headed next?
Monica: I hope to write more books to help people live healthier lives and continue to grow my communications business and private practice.

How did you get involved in writing?
Monica: I began by writing my own patient handouts when I was first starting out as a clinical dietitian and fell in love with creating useful, educational material.

How do you find time to write?
Monica: I make time, just like I do for everything else…kids, husband, exercise, family, friends, hobbies, etc.

What did you enjoy most about the writing process?
Monica: I look forward and enjoy relating to my audience. I write for health professionals, the media, consumers, patients, sales teams, etc. I love getting into my reader’s mindset in order to make the piece as relevant and as useful to my audience as possible.

What was the most difficult aspect of the writing process?
Monica: Letting go – I typically want to continue to revise and improve. I have to give myself strict deadlines and stick to them; otherwise, I would continue to work on a piece until I felt it achieved absolute perfection, which could take forever.

Tell me about co-authoring a book. What was the process like? What was enjoyable? Difficult?
Monica: Shara and I work really well together. We complement each other tremendously as she and I approach writing and working very differently. Despite both of us being dietitians, we actually have very different backgrounds. This helps us look at our work from different angles and create, what we believe to be, the most creative solution for whatever project we are working on at the time.

What would you say to someone who wants to become a published author?
Monica: Go for it!!!!!

Where did you get the idea for the book? What compelled you to write it?
Monica: I have always maintained a private practice and teach a prenatal nutrition class at the Y – throughout my career, most of the women that I help to lose weight, started having weight problems post-pregnancy. It was the same for my friends and family. Throughout the years, we have learned what works and what does not work in terms of moms losing weight. So, we wanted to make the information that we had learned more available. And, since most post-pregnancy weight loss books are exercise-based, Shara and I felt that a nutrition and lifestyle book to help mom’s lose weight was missing from the shelves.

What are the major themes of the book?
Monica: Each short chapter is based on an issue faced by moms with a solution – we cover, when you should eat, what you should eat, how you should eat with concrete examples and interesting facts throughout the book. Additionally, we provide menus and shopping lists.

Why do you think “baby fat” is so difficult for moms to lose?
Monica: With each child comes a new set of demands and less time, plus the body itself is different and needs attention. By focusing on easy to incorporate healthful strategies that really do make a difference versus trying different diets or following bad advice, moms can actually lose the weight without trying too hard or having to take too much time away from other activities and responsibilities.

What kind of research did you have to do for the book?
Monica: The book is based on over 12 years of experience and research with a countless number of women (not to mention our own baby weight loss experiences) – every successful weight loss client as well as our own experiences went into this book. Additionally, all recommendations have a scientific foundation and are validated by scientific research.

What do you hope readers will take away from your book?
Monica: That to lose weight, one must eat and make good decisions. This book will help them learn how to do both.

About the Authors:

Monica Bearden, R.D

is a food enthusiast who believes that a healthy lifestyle should always include delighting the palate with a good piece of chocolate. She began her career in clinical dietetics working with several nutrition-related issues including weight-loss and continues to counsel clients privately, teach community weight loss classes and teach as a certified fitness instructor.

Shara Aaron, M.S., R.D., lives what she preaches: eating a balanced diet and exercising regularly can help you get the most out of life. She began her career as nutrition and health editor for Family Circle magazine. She was also a manager of nutrition communications at a major food company, where she served, among other things, as a company nutrition media spokesperson. She is now the co-owner of NutCom, LLC, a nutrition communications consulting company, and continues to privately counsel patients on weight loss and teach fitness classes as a certified aerobics instructor. Shara has published articles in Family Circle, Parents, and American Baby magazines.

Check out their blog at http://babyfatdiet.com/blog for great tips and recipes.

Nurturing the born to be wild

Looking for answers on how to raise boys?

Now you have a chance to ask Stephen and David YOUR boy parenting questions during their Virtual Book Tour on the evening of Tuesday, February 3rd. Register now for this live event. You can hear Stephen and David answer your questions online or via your phone. You’ll get all the details when you sign up—along with two free chapters from their book! A Virtual Book Tour lets you listen live while relaxing in your home. This is an opportunity you won’t want to miss. . www.StephenandDavid.com

Boys are born to be wild. Their strong spirit, endless imagination, and hunger for adventure are only matched by their deep desire to be affirmed, esteemed, and loved. In their new book Wild Things, therapists Stephen James and David Thomas help parents and educators understand what exactly makes boys tick.

1. In your last book, How to Hit a Curveball, Grill the Perfect Steak, and Become a Real Man, you addressed a lot of fatherhood issues about rearing boys. How is your new book, Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys, different?

How to Hit a Curveball felt like a perfect introduction to this book. That book challenges men to take a good look at themselves, their experience of being boys themselves and how they were (or weren’t) fathered. We strongly believe that men can’t father well outside of paying attention to their own stories. Whether we like it or not, we are all creatures of habit. We gravitate back toward what we know – good or bad. That book was an invitation to look a little closer at both.

Wild Things is an invitation to take a closer look at your son. This book is a comprehensive look at boy development from birth to young adulthood. In addition to laying out the biology of a boy, we also look at the mind of a boy and the heart of a boy. We break down what a boy needs from his mom and from his dad in every stage of his development. We also hit on all the hot topics surrounding boys, everything from the impact of media to substance abuse, the role of sports, and sex and dating.

2. The subject of Wild Things was inspired by Maurice Sendak’s classic tale Where the Wild Things Are. Why did you find this theme so appropriate?

If you read closely Sendak’s story, he brilliantly speaks to a boy’s hunger for risk and adventure, how boys crave power and purpose, and how they make sense of the world around them. Sendak’s portrait of boys felt so accurate to the two of us and a unique way of exploring and dissecting a boy’s inner world.

In Wild Things, we borrow from the passion and ethos of Sendak’s book and use that to provide insight and direction for parents, teachers, and mentors in what it means to love a boy well. We also try and give a lot of real life examples from our own lives and from the families we work with in our counseling practices.

3. You address five key stages that a boy goes through on his journey to becoming a man. What stage is the most difficult for most boys to navigate?

Each of the stages holds unique challenges. We worked hard to break down each stage in a way that is easy to digest. We think that that parents and educators will walk away with a clearer understanding of a boy’s unique design in each stage and some practical ideas in how to care for him within that stage of his development.

In many ways Wild Things is the kind of thing that you don’t just read once. It is more like an entertaining reference guide that parents and teachers can go back to time and time again for encouragement, insight, and direction.

But if we had to identify one stage as the most challenging, though, we’d have to say the Wanderer stage (13-17). This window of a young man’s development is plagued by physical and emotional change. A colleague of mine, who is pediatrician, said boys in this stage are 98% hormone, which translates to their being so emotional. A part of their developmental agenda is moving toward independence and pulling away. He’s often times the most distant and hard to read in this stage, which greatly complicates the process of letting him go and trusting him with more independence. And it is during this stage that is has the ability to make decisions that will effect the rest of his life. The risks are real and boys in this stage lack the ability to choose wisely with their future in sight.

4. Both of you are fathers of girls and boys. How is parenting a boy different from parenting a girl?

Parenting boys in the first three stages is just so physical. Parenting boys in these years requires a great deal of physical energy-and a good back. Whereas parenting our daughters is so much more relational and emotional. Both are exhilarating and exhausting, but in different ways.

When I (David) engage my daughter, it’s in sitting in a neighborhood coffee shop talking about her day at school. My boys can sit at the coffee shop long enough to finish a chocolate chip cookie, spill their milk and then we’re kicking a soccer ball across the street at the park.

We talk a lot in the book about boys in motion and how to engage these active, physical beings. Girls need that too, no doubt, but not in the same way boys need it.

We had our families together the other day over at my (Stephen’s) house. At one point all the kids went out in the front yard to play: five boys and two girls in all. There were a number of balls lying around the yard. The boys started playing soccer with one ball and the girls started playing soccer with another. After a few minutes the boys were trying to kick the ball at each other and the girls were off to the side talking to each other. To me that is a great picture of the differences.

5. What mistakes have parents and educators made in their approach to rearing and training boys?

For me (Stephen) the consistent mistake my wife and I make is that we over explain and over verbalize with our sons. This is a problem that is very common. In parenting boys, adults tend to talk to them and at them a great deal. We talk and talk and talk and end up sounding a lot like Charlie Brown’s teacher. “Whah, whah, whah.” In Wild Things we offer a number of different strategies for engaging and educating boys that better match their unique design. Boys learn through experience and physical repetition. They need consistent firm boundaries and loads of encouragement.

As far as school goes we speak a lot in the book that the compulsory model we use for schooling in the United States is generally well-suited to a girl’s learning style. It’s heavy on verbal and written expression, two particular areas of strength for most girls. It involves a good deal of sitting still for extended periods of time with mostly auditory instruction. These methods don’t match a boy’s way of learning or draw on his learning strengths.

6. How did you come to the conclusions you discuss in Wild Things?

The book is a combination of science and research, clinical experience (our own as therapists and that of others), and our own journey of parenting five boys between the two of us.

As therapists, we have sat with thousands of men and boys over the years. Our hope was to bring their voices into the content of Wild Things. We have learned so much from the males we’ve had the great honor of working with and hoped to bring their stories into this text. In addition to those, we are still learning so much from living with five of our wild things.

7. At what age should parents discuss sex, homosexuality, and pornography with their boys?

You may be surprised to hear this answer, but we’d recommend beginning a dialogue around sexuality at the age of two. We aren’t recommending education around homosexuality and pornography at two. That begins typically around age 8-10, possibly earlier or later depending on the boy. But we are strong advocates of a healthy ongoing dialogue with every boy around the design of his body, sexuality, and boundaries in relationships in stage one.

We lay out a good portion of this in the book to take some of the guess work out of it for parents, and we recommend some useful resources in further guiding you through this life long discussion. As boys grow older the conversation becomes more specific and more technical. Think of it like painting: it starts with broad brush strokes and then moves to finer detail. But as a rule, it starts way before most parents think it does.

8. What are the three most important factors in keeping a boy from experimenting with drugs?

We continue to see three common factors among young men that we’ve worked with who either abstain from using substances or experiment and then make a decision not to continue. The first would be a strong faith and core values. The second would be a strong family open to dialogue. The third would be strong relationships.

9. Who are the most important role models in a boy’s life?

There is no question that a boy’s parents play a foundational role in the man he becomes. In Wild Things we have a chapter that specifically address a mother’s relationship with her son as well as a chapter that addresses a father’s relationship with his son. But it doesn’t stop there for boys. There is great truth to the old African proverb that says “it takes a village.” We talk early in the book about how a boy begins to hunger for other voices and a part of our role is to put them in his way, so that he ends up with this community of individuals who believe in him and hold him up.

10. What kinds of things can a father do to bond with his son and raise him to be emotionally mature?

One of the first things we’d challenge a dad to do is to pay attention to his own story. That was a central purpose in our book How to Hit a Curve Ball, Grill the Perfect Steak and Become a Real Man: Learning the Lessons our Fathers Never Taught Us. Unless we understand how our stories inform who we are as men, husbands, and fathers, we stand to make a number of significant mistakes with our own sons. So before a man starts making a list of things to “do” with his son, we’d encourage him to start with himself. That step doesn’t involve his son at all, but is one of the most powerful ways to love and care for him.

That step gives way to the second step. In order for a father to raise an emotionally mature young man, he must be an emotionally healthy man himself. A boy desperately needs a dad who has an interior life. Our culture is flooded with emotionally stunted, emotionally damaged males. There’s no shortage there. Men have a responsibility to lead their son’s in living from their hearts. Women can’t really teach boys how to do this. Mom’s can invite it and encourage it, but the action of it must be modeled by a man.

Thirdly, we’d challenge dads to study his son in search of his boy’s definition of enjoyment. That’s different for every boy. We both have a set of twin boys. Two males with identical genetic ingredients and yet the outcome couldn’t be any more different. These guys, born within minutes of one another, have different passions, different strengths, and different longings. And they experience enjoyment in some similar ways as well as some different ways. We are both on a long journey of discovering what that is. Just as soon as we get a handle on it, it can change just as his development does. So it’s a long journey of studying these boys and pursuing their passions and their hearts.

11. People often talk about the father’s role in teaching a boy to be a man, but a mother’s relationship is important too. What are some mistakes a mother can make?

A mother’s role is so very important. That message is woven throughout Wild Things. There is so much to the answer to this question. You’ll need to read the book to get a comprehensive look at your role throughout his development. We talk a lot with mom’s about two unique callings within their role, both of which lend themselves to mistakes and potential harm to the mother-son relationship. To boil it down though to a couple of things we would say 1) The first is being safe and 2) the second is letting go. We break both of those down in great detail within the book. By being safe we mean a mothers ability to let her son be a boy. By letting go we mean a mother’s willingness to let her boy become a man. We speak a whole lot more to this throughout the book. It’s such a big question, and an important question for moms to consider.

12. If you could give once piece of advice to parents and educators reading this book, what would it be?

The study of a boy is such a worthwhile use of your time and resources. Boys are complex, imaginative, mysterious, brilliant, challenging, creative, strong, tender, courageous beings-and each is unique. Parenting and educating them is a wonderful, difficult, complex, enjoyable, physical, emotional, delightful, maddening journey. Our hope is that Wild Things is a useful guide along that journey.

If we have to give one piece of advice it would be for parents and educators to continue to invest in their own emotional and spiritual maturity. Growing yourself is the best gift you can give a boy you love.
You’ve gained some valuable advice, but there’s more! If you would like to learn more from these parenting experts about raising boys, you can order a copy of Wild Things through amazon.com. [CLICK LINK IN THE BEGINNING OF THIS BLOG POST.]
Based on clinical research, Stephen James and David Thomas have filled Wild Things with practical tips and suggestions for parents. They guide readers through the five stages of a boy’s development, providing an overview and explanation of each stage, followed by a plan to put new principles into action. Pick up a copy today!

Stephen James, M.A., and David Thomas, M.S.S.W., are speakers, authors, and therapists who work directly with boys and their families. They also travel around the country, speaking on parenting and marriage communication, and they have been dynamic guests on CBN’s Living the Life, Good Day Atlanta, WGN Midday News, Moody’s Midday Connection, and other radio programs coast to coast. Learn more at www.stephenanddavid.com.

DAVID THOMAS, M.S.S.W. is a therapist and director of counseling for men and boys at Daystar Counseling in Nashville, TN. he lives in Nashville with his wife, Connie, daughter, Lily, and twins Baker and Witt.

STEPHEN JAMES, M.A. is a private-practice therapist in Nashville, TN. He is husband to Heather and father to Emma Claire, Elijah, and twins Henry and Teddy.

Not too late to start the year with a bang…‘Big Bang Mini’ for Nintendo DSTM

AVAILABLE JANUARY 20th!

Leading videogame publisher, SouthPeak Interactive Corporation (OTC Bulletin Board: SOPK; SOPKU; SOPKW; SOPKZ) has introduced a new arcade-style videogame, Big Bang Mini, in which players light up the night sky with dazzling bursts of fireworks to defeat whimsical enemies which threaten them from above.

A challenging new twist on the retro shooter-style game, Big Bang Mini, developed in conjunction with Studio Arkedo, offers Nintendo DS^TM players the opportunity to create their own fireworks displays. Players send up rockets with a sweep of the stylus while avoiding the burning fallout from fireworks which miss their targets. The aim of the game is to collect stars which fall when an enemy is defeated and progress through the game’s 90 levels.

In the single-player ‘Arcade’ mode, players move through ten worlds, each with nine challenging levels and a fearsome enemy boss guarding access to the next world. Only when the boss is defeated is the next world unlocked. Players can also enter the ‘Challenge’ mode and link to a high score site through the Nintendo DS’s integrated WI-FI.

The innovative ‘Versus’ multi-player mode in Big Bang Mini requires just a single game cartridge yet lets two players compete on separate Nintendo DS units. Parents, in particular, will appreciate not having to invest in a second copy of the game to allow friends and siblings to enjoy multiplayer games. In this mode, players launch fireworks at each other’s targets, holding the DS unit like a book, and watching the rockets fly from one screen to the next.

‘Mission’ mode adds a new degree of difficulty to challenges found in the various worlds and requires excellent speed and accuracy to complete tasks. In sharp contrast, the ‘Relax’ mode lets players enjoy a computer-generated fireworks display or create their own, just for fun. The game also offers utilizes the Nintendo DS alarm clock feature so players can wake to sounds from the game’s award-winning soundtrack.

Rated E for Everyone, the game is a ‘shoot ‘em up’ that will make long journeys pass in a flash – whether sat in the back of a car driven by mom or dad, or on the train while commuting to work, such is the game’s appeal to players of all ages. The tutorial arms players with the basic skills quickly, as play is controlled entirely by the stylus. Fast, strategic moves are required to send up fireworks, collect stars and move to safety from falling debris.

The aim was to create an absorbing, yet challenging game for Nintendo DS which fully utilized the unique attributes of the stylus to enhance gameplay, according to Melanie Mroz, CEO of SouthPeak Games.

“The classic arcade shoot em up, is a perennial favorite, but it needed a genuinely new twist,” explained Mroz. “There’s a universal attraction to fireworks, and something strangely captivating about creating displays, even in the midst of gameplay. The sweep of the stylus is the ideal way to launch a rocket into the sky with a satisfying swoosh, before it bursts into a kaleidoscope of brilliant shapes and colors – and destroys the opposition. It’s this combination of the old and the new in Big Bang Mini which will have players hooked.”

The game has already received an excellent response from industry reviewers, was awarded ‘Best Game Soundtrack’ at the prestigious video game festival, Prix du Festival du Jeu Vidéo in France, and was also nominated for ‘Best Portable Console Game’.

Big Bang Mini is available at major retailers nationwide with a suggested retail price of $19.99.

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About SouthPeak Interactive Corporation

SouthPeak Interactive Corporation develops and publishes interactive entertainment software for all current hardware platforms including: PLAYSTATION®3 computer entertainment system, PSP® (PlayStation®Portable) system, PlayStation®2 computer entertainment system, Xbox 360® videogame and entertainment system, Wii^TM, Nintendo DS^TM and PC. SouthPeak’s games cover all major genres including action/adventure, role playing, racing, puzzle strategy, fighting and combat. SouthPeak’s products are sold in retail outlets in North America, Europe, Australia and Asia. SouthPeak is headquartered in Midlothian, Virginia, and has offices in Grapevine, Texas and London, England.

Help for keeping up with your family’s medications

Note from Christa: Oh, if only this had been around when my five children were younger. . .

Moms often become the chief health officers and advocates for their children, spouses and elderly parents. Staying informed about their families’ medications can be critical to their health, but keeping up with new drug safety information coming out nearly every day can pose a challenge.

Drugs.com, the largest and most comprehensive online drug information resource, wants to offer Moms an easy place to keep track of all their family’s medications in one place. Their recently released, award winning tool, MedNotes, provides a free online personalized medication management program that can be used to track the whole family’s medication profiles. On each personal family member profile you create, you can enter the names of all the medications being taken and then register to receive drug safety or interaction alerts to ultimately help reduce dangerous side effects and avoid unwanted drug interactions. In addition, MedNotes will send you new drug and specific condition news released by the FDA or drug makers related to the medications your family members take.

Keep separate medication lists for yourself, family members or patients. Specify age and sex separately for each profile to get only the most relevant information. Options are also available for pregnancy and lactation warnings. Physicians and researchers can also build profiles for each of their patients or keep a handy list of all medications prescribed.

By being updated on all of your family’s medication needs, you can feel more in control of your family’s health.

Drugs.com is NOT an online pharmacy and does not condone the sale of prescription medicines over the Internet without a prescription. Drugs.com simply provides a free drug-information service to help you better understand how medicines work: their uses, side effects and potential to interact with other medicines. For information on purchasing prescription medicines online please visit the FDA’s Buying Prescription Medicines Online: A Consumer Safety Guide.
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The Drugs.com drug-information database is powered by four independent leading medical-information suppliers: Wolters Kluwer Health, Physicians’ Desk Reference, Cerner Multum and Thomson Micromedex. Individual drug (or drug-class) information content compiled by these sources is delivered complete and unaltered by Drugs.com.

Drugs.com medical dictionary is powered by Stedmans. Since 1911, Stedman’s Medical Dictionary has been the medical profession’s most trusted source for medical definitions. The Drugs.com Illustrated Health Encyclopedia is supplied by A.D.A.M., Inc., publishers of original content health articles. Most of A.D.A.M.’s health articles are initially developed by physicians, then reviewed by the A.D.A.M. Content Review Board, which consists of physicians who are specialists in their fields.

The Drugs.com Veterinary Product Database is an online version of the Compendium of Veterinary Products published by North American Compendiums. North American Compendiums is in the business of building, managing, maintaining and marketing data and databases in the animal health, crop chemical and human health industries in the USA and Canada.

The “Latest News” and “FDA Drug Alerts” sections are sourced from standard industry press releases, newspapers, online news sites and medical journals and the FDA.

Drugs.com is NOT affiliated with any pharmaceutical companies. The only funding we receive from pharmaceutical companies is by way of advertisements that appear on the Drugs.com website. This advertising in no way affects the content of the drug information we supply.

Missing ingredient to permanent weight loss discovered

After years of failed diet attempts, Chantel Hobbs discovered the missing ingredient to permanent weight loss: to change your life, you first have to change the way you think.

She developed a balanced plan for exercise and nutrition and lost two hundred pounds. Now, through writing, speaking, and her work as a personal trainer, she inspires others to achieve far more than they thought possible.

In Never Say Diet, now available in trade paperback, Chantel provides everything readers need to lose weight for good, including:

* Simple, step-by-step workout routines that fit into a normal weekday schedule
* A realistic approach to nutrition that helps people break their bondage to food
* Strategies for staying motivated when life takes unexpected turns
* Keys to dealing with discouragement by relying on God’s strength
* The secret to moving beyond past failures and getting over old excuses

Chantel helps readers make the five commitments that are necessary for changing their lives. Her high-energy, no-nonsense approach inspires readers to achieve results that last in body, mind, and spirit.

Her newest book, The Never Say Diet Personal Fitness Coach, now allows readers to have Chantel show up each week to inspire, encourage, and energize them on the journey to a healthy life that centers on body, mind, and spirit.

This fitness guide helps readers set new weight-loss goals and create an exercise schedule that works in the midst of life’s constant demands. Readers will be inspired with Scripture, and they will welcome Chantel’s healthy eating plan with simple, energy-and-nutrition-packed recipes. Weekly checklists and personal evaluations direct readers in reaching their goals. Plus, Chantel’s personal and entertaining stories provide the motivation needed to get through even the most frustrating days.

With Never Say Diet and The Never Say Diet Personal Fitness Coach readers will establish new fitness habits that burn off excess weight, increase strength, and establish a new, healthy way of living.

Chantel’s Story:

I was born in South Florida January 30th, 1972. My parent’s names are Jerry and Sherry Parrish, and I have one sister, Christy as well as two brothers named David and Michael.

At about eleven years old, I began my weight battle and childhood addiction to food. For the next several years, I watched the scale go up after repeated “dieting” attempts and eventually gave up for the next several years. At 21 years old, I married my high school sweetheart, Keith.

On my wedding day in February 1993, I have the memory of walking down the aisle as a “plus sized” bride. Six months later I became pregnant and had a daughter named Ashley. As my weight was now over 325 pounds, I enjoyed play dates, milkshakes and Oreo’s and being a new mommy.

Two years later, I gave birth to Kayla and for the next few years it was much of the same. I justified my existence that I was too busy and too far gone to do anything about my weight. As I continued I stay close to 350 pounds, I had a son we named Jake in June 1999. Shortly after he was born, I fell apart. I was living my life as an academy award winning actress, pretending that my weight problem didn’t exist, while inside I felt trapped and tortured.

The thoughts that I was ugly, judged, and pathetic ran through my mind nearly all day, every day. It hit me one night, alone in my car that I had been treating my obesity as a disease that I had no control over. My mother had been diagnosed with Leukemia several years prior, and I had spent many nights praying for her to stay healthy but often feeling very helpless. In reality, my being overweight was not at all like an illness. It was my personal and lifelong struggle, not something that just appeared out of nowhere.

I cried out of desperation to God that night and said to Him that I was done fighting, and that I needed strength to fight this war. I also realized in those moments that I had to take personal responsibility for my struggle or I would never fix it for good.

I went in to my house and proclaimed to my husband that I was done with dieting, however I was going to lose weight for good and then write a book to show others what I had found. He then made an attempt to bring me back down to earth by saying- Do it, then talk! And I agreed and decided to take the challenge! I woke up then next morning and began my new life.

And from that day on, despite lots of circumstances out of my control, many vacations, another pregnancy, relapse of my mom’s Leukemia, and many more challenges along the way, I lost nearly 200 pounds and have kept it off for good! I can honestly say that I no longer live in fear of being fat again, because what I have found is that the ability to be fit and healthy lives within me. It is not something that can be taken away.

We fear things that we don’t expect or that we can’t foresee, we shouldn’t fear things that we have the power to control. My life’s passion is to see the world “ditch the diet!” for good- seven years later, I have now run 5 marathons, I am a certified personal trainer, spinning instructor as well as running coach with The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

I still wake up each day and thank God that I have this platform and this voice to share the spirit and message of hope. I know there are many of you who are like how I once was, frustrated and exhausted from constant failure. You know that you can be living better and feeling better.

My story can be your story or the story of someone you love. Life is full of many trials and struggles, this doesn’t need to be one of them!
Dare to be Remarkable!

Chantel hosts a weekly fitness program on Reach FM radio and is a regular guest on Way FM. Her “Ditch the Diet, Do the Weekend” bootcamp takes place several times a year in a variety of locations. She has presented her unique approach to lasting fitness in People magazine and on Oprah, The Today Show, Good Morning America, Fox News, The 700 Club, Living the Life, and Paula White Today. Chantel enjoys life with her husband and their four children in South Florida.